FEel THE FEAR & DO IT ANYWAY
I have been wanting to focus more on my meditation teaching - finish writing my training courses, teach more classes, find a way to get my meditation for children into the school system.
I’ve been thinking about whats blocking me, is it the fear of failure? Of being judged - being labelled weird, stupid, boring. Is it because my entire life I’ve always left things until the last minute? I was the uni student asking for an for an extension and then staying up until 5am to complete a ten million word essay in one night. Thats right, in the olden days we had to write millions of words … with a pen! Haha!
Yesterday I walked in the park, stopping half way to do a beautiful meditation to 'release any blocks' before coming home to begin working. The sun warmed my back and I felt a wave of joy and gratitude wash over me.
Thank you for this opportunity to work on my meditation teaching. Thank you for my home. Thank you for the birds singing so freely around me. Thank you for the people boxing just near me, the sounds of their gloves in rhythm with my heart beat, thank you for the millions of blades of green grass reminding me of the abundance of abundance
I digress. Full of hope, determination and motivation I came home and did everything else but the work that was needed for my business.
My 12 year old daughter was in her room freaking out about having not done all of her holiday homework, and cursing the fact she even had to work during her holiday. I suggested we run away to anywhere without homework. The apple does not fall far from the tree in the homework department so, I suggested we meditate together on her bed.
We began with the kundalini breaths and chakra clearing with sound that I learned from one of my teachers, Justine Ruszczyk. We expanded our energy and then I began, it went something like this.
Imagine how you will feel when all your homework is done … relieved, successful, free to do all the fun things you’d like to do.
Imagine completing a project and then feeling excited about beginning the next.
Imagine really knowing you are very smart … beleive it. Know it. Feel it.
Now imagine you are excited about school, and reading, as you are always learning about new things. Feel the excitement in your body.
Feel the releif you have completed your task. Feel proud of yourself.
After a while I realised I had stopped talking, I was really expanded and floating in bliss. My daughter was asleep beside me.
I found my way back to my desk and begun my tasks, the meditation had accidentally worked on me, which is why I believe teaching our children to meditate has a positive effect on us too.
The philosopher OSHO tells a story about a master of calligraphy. If you hesitate the ink will make a mess on the rice paper. The master made mistake after mistake trying to write perfectly. He asked his disciple, who was watching him, to go and get more ink. While the disciple was out, the Master did his masterpiece. The disciple exclaimed, “this is perfect! What happened?”
Laughing, the Master replied, “I became aware of one thing - your presence, the very idea that somebody is there to appreciate or to condemn, to say no or yes, disturbed my inner tranquility. Now I will never be disturbed. I have come to know that I was trying to make it perfect and that was the only reason for its not being perfect.”